womp update about anxiety

does anyone know where the blog “screamingsolicity” went?

(via byebye-baggage)

hello old blog, my friend.

i use my main blog(linked on my page) literally everyday, so if ya really want to keep up with my life, it’s there.

i’m still going to occasionally use this one for my eating disorder though.

missmairaisabel:

cigarettesandcipralex:

Day 80 - March 28th, 2012

I will never, ever understand why some girls claim to be pro-ana/mia (encourage anorexia/bulimia). Who in their fucking right mind would someone want to be this way? If I had a choice to go back and have none of this happen to me, I would do that without a second thought. Living like this is fucking hell. My mind is totally consumed by calories, weight, sugar, fat, and numbers all day, every day. I either consume zero calories, or thousands. When I purge, I feel like absolute shit. I want to stop while I’m doing it, but I know that if I don’t, I’ll feel even worse than I do during the process. Every time I eat, I hope that I have some sort of strength left in me to stop shoveling the food into my huge trap. And when I can’t stop, I prepare myself for my own sick punishment - purging. Is it worth it? Well, I used to think it was, but I couldn’t tell you anymore. Yet I can’t stop. It’s a never ending cycle of: starve, feel sick, eat, binge, feel worse, purge, repeat.

And those girls who tag “thinspo” on sick people’s photos? Don’t get me started on the side effects. Do I look fucking happy here? My cheeks are swollen from purging, my makeup is smeared all over my face from crying, I have acne that’s nearly impossible to cover up (not like I have the time, effort, or care to fix that), my pupils are dilated, I smell like puke, I’m weak and tired, I sleep all fucking day long, I have no memory, I have aches and pains all over my body, I constantly weigh myself, and I can’t leave the house without changing my outfit at least 4 times. 

I do not enjoy this lifestyle. It’s not cute or fun. 
Please stop posting thinspo or pro-ana/mia on sick people’s photographs.

God bless this post

(Source: cypriotjesus, via fleshscars)

ithurtssomuch:

My heart beats so much faster before I have to enter a room full of people..my whole body starts shaking and I probably look like a freak because I always need so much time to just open the door.

(via bloodypounds)

I cant fucking sleep
tonight is stupid

we weighed ourselves today in lifestyle. I’ve lost 8 pounds since september. that’s such a small number. the only thing I’ve eaten in the last 2 days is a grilled cheese. I’ve been purging multiple times a day again too.
and I’m seriously suicidal again.

is there no end?

(Source: curvyisthenewblack, via bloodstainedrazors)

(Source: thatswhyismile456)